What Do the Boys Think? Part 2: Andrew

  But I Don't Want an Orphan!

So What Do the Boys Think?  Part 2: Andrew

Andrew in the winter of 2012 holding his hermit crab named "Butterfly"

 

    So what do the boys think of all of this?  Are they excited about the adoption? This is the single most asked question we get. The last post was William's part of our story. This time we will talk about how Andrew has felt about it.

    In February of 2012 we made the decision to take the first steps in our adoption process. We prayed about how to share the news with the boys, not knowing how they might feel about it and wanting to communicate our plans in a positive way. Similar to the day when William shared with us his heart for adopting, it was a Sunday after church and we sat around the lunch table. We told them about the Lord's call for our family to adopt and explained that we were starting the process of bringing a little brother or sister into the family. As we had expected, the information was a bit overwhelming for them. It hit Andrew the hardest; his reaction was priceless.
     "But...I don't want an orphan!"
     We smile when we think about that response now.  His was being honest...and we appreciated that he could tell us how he felt! As the younger brother, as well as being the youngest boy on a block of many competitive kids, I am sure that Andrew's first thought was that he would have yet another kid to be measured up against.  How can we blame him for feeling that way? (Incidentally, these feelings were a contributing factor in our adopting a girl.)
    One evening, while Brian was out-of-town, Andrew had a particularly difficult night.  He was in an angry mood and was telling Molly and William that he did not want a little sister...that he would throw all of her dolls out of the window when she comes. In that moment the Lord was gracious to give Molly the words to say that uncovered the root of Andrew's anger. Andrew shared with her how he was afraid that he was being replaced!  He told her how he thought we were adopting because we wanted a good little girl...instead of him. How heartbreaking! 
     Thankfully that conversation led to some very important talks about the love we have for Andrew. We explained how we will never want to replace him--that he was our special gift from God and that he will always be "our Andrew." (Recently he asked if he could say the bedtime prayers and he said, "Dear God, thank you for the gift that I am to Mom and Dad." We are happy that our words have sunken in!) We explained how we will certainly love Martha very much...but that our great love for him will not change. If anything, our love will grow as our family grows, just like it did when he was born.
    We are happy to now say that Andrew may be, of all of us, the most excited about the adoption!  The Lord has really been preparing his heart for his little sister. Andrew has a great empathy for Martha, telling us how it makes him sad to think of her as abandoned and without a family. He finds stuffed animals and board books and has started a collection of toys to give to Martha.  It is beautiful to see the change that has taken place in Andrew...and we know that it is the result of prayer.



Miles Greene, a sweet friend of Andrew's, April 2014

     We cannot leave out one other sweet gift that the Lord has given to Andrew during this journey.  He has introduced Andrew to younger children that he adores. Most notably is his precious young friend named Miles Greene. As the Lord would have it, Andrew met Miles one evening when we were at the airport welcoming home an adopted little boy named Edson Rinehart (whom you will hear about in a future post.) During the wait Andrew and Miles played peek-a-boo up and down the rows of chairs. It was Andrew's greatest delight to make Miles laugh...he was tireless in his efforts (and Miles was generous with his giggles!) Because of this adorable relationship we are able to truthfully tell Andrew that he is great with little kids. What a joy it is to hear him repeat our praises and say he is going to be a great big brother. We have no doubt! (Praise be to God!)